The first month of school and compound sentence examples is behind us, and during this time, parents of schoolchildren probably had time to rejoice more than once at their first “A “s and be saddened by unexpected “C “s. But are grades that important?
After all, are school grades important or not important? Is it true that C’s do better in life? To answer this question first of all we need to define the criterion of “settling down”. If we take material security as a criterion, then school grades have no direct correlation with this factor. In other words, among people whose income level is above average, there are those who were excellent at school, and those who were failures. A gold medal and a red diploma are no guarantee of financial security. The Internet is replete with examples of the rich and famous who once stayed behind or were expelled from school altogether. But another assumption is also wrong; getting a “C” on a high school diploma is no guarantee of a good material income in the future.
If we take the subjective leve
l of satisfaction with one’s life as a criterion of “well-being,” then even here there is no dependence on school grades. However, satisfaction does not depend on helping verbs or money and the number of fans. The rich also cry, and the famous can feel lonely.
Yes, it would be very convenient to be able to calculate a child’s future happiness, to find a mathematical expression for it with several parameters and to make sure that the child does not go beyond the acceptable values of these parameters as he grows up. This significantly reduces parental anxiety. It gives the illusion of control over future life. “Now I will pull the child to the right value of parameters A, B, C, and this will be a guarantee of his happiness in the future. Sometimes I meet parents who genuinely believe they have found this expression. Schooling serves as one of the parameters in it. The boundaries of the parameter are defined as “4-5” or even stricter: “5”. It is good if the child fits into this parameter. If he and his parents understand “happiness” in the same way. Then there will be no conflict of values with their parents. But if they do not? Then a difficult struggle begins for both parties. Why is it so hard for parents to accept that the child does not strive to get good grades? Because in this case, parental anxiety about the future of the child. But grades are not a marker of future happiness. It’s not even an adequate marker of ability. Assessment is how much the child has mastered the material learned at school. That’s all. There is no need to hang additional criteria on it.
Assessment is not an indicator of ability. It can be that there is ability, but there is no desire. Or a child’s abilities don’t fit in the frameworks of school subjects.
Grades are not a guarantee of future success. Social intelligence or emotional intelligence is not assessed in school, but can help a person’s career.
Grades are not an indication of how much progress a child has made in his or her development. In grading, a child’s performance is compared to some standardized norm, not to the child’s previous accomplishments. It may be that there is personal achievement, but the grade remains the same.
The grade is not an indicator of how responsible the child is. A child can be extremely responsible in another area where he has an immediate interest. I can give you an example from adult life where an extremely responsible middle manager forgets to buy a carton of milk at home and is rebuked by his wife for being irresponsible. Yes, he forgot the milk, because he was thinking intensely and responsibly about launching a new project.
Bad grades are not “terrible, the child is stupid, lazy, irresponsible, will never be able to get a job” (well, maybe as a janitor). Bad grades are a child who, for some reason, can’t or won’t do what the school requires. That’s it. Don’t put any labels on it. Don’t derive a personality assessment based on the grades in the diary. In the adult world, it is considered tactless to ask “How much money do you make?” But for some reason it’s considered normal to ask a high school student, “How did you study? How did you finish the quarter?” I don’t think it’s okay for a child to tell all of his grandparents, aunts, uncles, mom’s friends, and dad’s buddies who come to visit how many threes, fours, and fives he has in his report card. Allow your child not to answer this question. Teach him verbal expressions that allow him to dodge the subject, to make a joke. Also make jokes of your own, if you feel uncomfortable talking about your child’s grades. You don’t have to report to anyone.